“Negative Emotions”, A Misunderstood Purpose
“Negative Emotions”, A Misunderstood Purpose
You might have heard by now mindful statements like "all emotions and feelings are valid". On another hand, how many times have you heard or said "negative emotions" to describe emotions difficult to hold, accept and regulate?
How can something valid be negative? How can something negative be valid?
Behind this rhetoric, I understand some of the various reasons why we tend to call and we were taught to call some emotions "negative". I also understand that different cultures, different ethnographic groups, different moments in time, different individuals and beliefs, will have different perspectives on which emotions to describe as negative or not.
That being said, I think this approach doesn't foster a healthy dialogue with and a healthy process of emotions.
Emotions are natural and learned responses to experiences lived, imagined or witnessed. They are educative and purposeful.
I've learned through my Psychosynthesis training that at the core of any emotion or feeling there is a reason/a rational to be, a message to hear, a quality to hold and a need to listen to and try to meet.
My life prior to that training and since, - as much as my practice as a Counsellor -, has never ceased to confirm that learning. A learning that has become a key component in the therapy I provide to my clients.
Yes, the expression of certain emotions can be painful, problematic, uncomfortable, enigmatic, confusing, stressful, invasive, overwhelming and/or destructive if we don't learn to actively listen to, manage and process them in a healthy manner throughout their potential distortion or dysfunctionality.
But those emotions aren't negative in their essence because emotions always have something to teach us about who we are/who we aren't, what we want or don't want, need or don't need, boundaries to assert, re-affirm or create, what works for us & what doesn't, our values, and how we are impacted by people and situations as much as how we want to impact them.
Let's take anger for example. One of the most labelled "negative" emotion of all. Anger, - like a lot of other emotions -, is quite complex so I'm not going to try to articulate all its complexity here.
I will say though that I believe two of its main characteristics are: an expression of revolt against unfairness & a protection from hurt.
See how when you approach anger this way it becomes hard to keep labelling anger as "negative"?
[ARTICLE IN PROGRESS - As I have a tendency to start a lot of articles and never finish them, I wanted to post this one even if it's unfinished to invite the beginning of a reflection on this topic.]
The Duty Of Staying Home & The Responsibility To Care For Ourselves
MANAGING OUR MENTAL HEALTH DURING THE PANDEMIC LOCKDOWN
By Lucas Voclere
Prelude - The Duty Of Staying Home & The Responsibility To Care For Ourselves
Let’s be realistic: the global crisis of the coronavirus is here to stay, - first through the various stages of the pandemic, then through its wide & complex aftermath. Like for any crisis, time efficiency & tasks management are essential. We need to prioritise what needs to be done, provide resilient & continuous efforts, and make sure to distribute & share responsibilities.
Politicians & Researchers among other professionals are in charge of hindering the spread of the Covid-19 virus & eradicating it, and finding further medical, socio-political, economical & hopefully ecological solutions.
Then come the frontline workers who are dangerously exposed to risks of contamination, burn out & other more or less severe mental health issues. The healthcare work force has been trusted and possibly burdened with the over-pressuring hardship to save as many contaminated lives as possible, while sustaining their usual aids. Utilities employees are laden with maintaining ‘essential’ industries & services to prevent society as we know it from collapsing.
Whether homeless, ill or facing other tragic situations, - potentially caused or amplified by the pandemic -, some need to focus their energy on that adversity. I am deeply sad to confess that my immense compassion for them doesn’t come with a plan of actions to assist them. I sure hope this global crisis will be a wake up calls for governments, institutions & individuals to mobilise themselves to better support the most disadvantaged citizens.
For my part, I am making no plan of actions but rather an attempt to provide some tips & guidelines to those in similar situations with mine; - those in confinement. I am writing to those in quarantine who are fulfilling their duty to stay home to avoid participating to the spread of the virus and overwhelming the healthcare system (NHS or else in other countries). I hope you are safe from illness, financial predicaments and domestic abuse.
As a Counsellor working at the moment online, I have the same duty to stay home & the responsibility to assist my clients to the best of my abilities. I am also an individual facing, - like everyone isolated -, legitimate, normal, complex & multiple flows of emotions, thoughts & energies with variations over time. I am in my third week of self-isolation and I therefore had for my clients & myself to reflect on the best practices to survive this misfortune, sustain a good (enough) mental health and if possible, even nurture some well-being.
Because I feel the desire to assist individuals beyond my clients & loved ones, I am working on a series of articles combining & synthetising my therapeutic reflections to hopefully provide to some of you useful insights, tips & guidelines. As I am aware of the immediacy of the situation and how much many of you are eager to find assistance right now, I will share the flow of my writings as soon as they come, instead of delaying them with an unnecessary perfectionism. I will nonetheless edit & add to them over time. Please bear with me & be indulgent, and don’t hesitate to provide me with constructive feedback or suggestions of what you would like for me to write about or resources to add to my articles (via Twitter or Instagram @PurposefulSelf). I sincerely hope some of you will find something helpful in those articles, and because they are as much meant for you as for myself I unified them under the main title: Managing Our Mental Health During The Pandemic Lockdown.
Thank you for your reading. Stay home, be safe.
RESOURCES
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/coronavirus-covid-19/
https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/coronavirus-action-plan
https://www.cipd.co.uk/news-views/coronavirus/faqs
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/coronavirus/coronavirus-and-your-wellbeing/
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/coronavirus-covid-19/self-isolation-advice/
https://www.nhs.uk/oneyou/every-mind-matters/coronavirus-covid-19-staying-at-home-tips/
https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-020-00933-5
https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/coronavirus-covid-19-and-domestic-abuse
https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/healthy-body/getting-help-for-domestic-violence/
https://www.reducingtherisk.org.uk/cms/content/support-numbers
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_domestic_violence_hotlines
Working therapeutically with the rationality of fear & anxiety
Often, what makes the anxiety or fear appear to be irrational is that the present experiences have evolved away from the past lived experiences that created the anxiety, but the embedded and embodied emotional triggers, responses, behaviours and internalised beliefs at play haven’t changed.
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